Preaching Purple

Every year I feel as though maybe going to synagogue won't be as torturous as I remember, maybe I won't feel the urge to rip out my eyeballs when I see a load of over-excited 50 year olds fiddle with a book, or try and saw of my feet every time I'm asked to stand for more than five minutes and listen to a load of incoherent dribble that may as well be an in-depth description into how the Teletubbies were created, and not the world. Usually, however, I'm able to do all this in the comfort of a Shul of which I am a member, however, today I was thrust into unknown territory, utilising nothing but a socially awkward nature and a pair of 32E's to defend myself with.

As I walked into this strange and magical place (I often use the term 'magical' to describe my opinions on religion; I don't believe in magic) I found myself meeting people from my school, or people that I could recognise the face and not name, or people whom I've heard the name tossed about yet never really met , or individuals who were the siblings of someone I had met at a social gathering a couple of years back, or someone's aunt who knew the person I was sitting next to. I know, if you think the writing is hard to follow, imagine the actual situation.

The 'community' exhibited seemed like a competition for wealth and social stature, maybe it was everyone wearing the same black little hats on their head, but my urge to rebel raged in the afternoon when I thought to die my hair purple. Now, dying my hair specifically purple was not due to the novelty factor: Mya Purple. HAHAHA :|. Purple in religious terms symbolises death and mourning, for example, during the Christian holiday, Lent, churches are often decorated in purple clothing. For me purple was an indication the death of any individualism in Judaism, and it also looks awesome. One could argue that I was being alternative simply because it's cool, and that Hollister is actually fashionable, and coincidently everyone has a Blackberry just because one day there was a big sale at the Carphone Warehouse, and literally nothing is official until it's been set in stone on facebook, but if they argued that, I would classify them whole-heartedly as an uneducated troll that's been living under a bridge for far too long. Maybe some readers will get offended, and yes, in fact I am being a hypocrite, owning a blackberry and posting this very blog straight to facebook. Neither am I stating that any of the people who comply to these typical tags of Judaism are intolerant or nincompoops, i'm plainly trying to illustrate a point: that the Jewish community lacks in diversity. I feel as though my sordid observation and potentially too detailed view of my day needs to come to a coherent finish, so I will digress...

One of my favourite quotes from Ronnie Shakes sums up my qualms about Religion, in a comedic and generally dickish mannor, "One day I fear I will meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say"